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If you’re here, most likely you married, right? Then you probably know marriage is no easy feat. It is a constant ongoing journey of growth and development. Through all the ups and downs of married life, we are able to learn so much about each other and so much about ourselves too. Keep reading to see what are some of the marriage mistakes that you could be making that could hurt your relationship with your spouse.
I have been married for almost 6 years! Wait, what?!
It seems like just yesterday our dentist was setting us up on a blind date and now here we are almost 6 years later with a busy toddler running wild. It is crazy to see our growth as a couple over the years.
We have grown in love even more and continue to do so each day.
We have experienced all kinds of things together and have seen each other at our best and at our worst. That is all part of the package deal, I think. I guess that is what makes marriage a rollercoaster of highs and lows.
- How certain marriage mistakes can begin to have a negative impact on your relationship with your spouse
- 6 Marrige mistakes that can hurt your marriage
- 1. Be humble
- 2. STOP assuming
- 3. Get rid of that short fuse
- 4. Try to let up on the nagging
- 5. Just let it go
- 6. Not showing enough gratitude
- We all make mistakes
Marriage isn’t perfect
Now I can’t tell you that our marriage is perfect, I can’t tell you that I am perfect. To be brutally honest with you I am so far from perfect it is not even funny.
But I can tell you were ARE perfect for each other.
That doesn’t mean we never have disagreements or never get frustrated with one another. But we do complement each other and seem to do a decent job of balancing one another out.
You can’t expect your marriage to be sunshine and daisies every single day. That is just not life. There is always opposition in things.
It takes hard work on both ends of the marriage duo, but if you can remember to grow through hard times together, you will find that marriage is your kind of perfect in its own special way.
How certain marriage mistakes can begin to have a negative impact on your relationship with your spouse
In those almost 6 years I have been married it has already seemed like a lifetime on one hand and on the other, it has flown by in a blink of an eye.
I have been able to start learning how I can be BETTER for my husband, and that in and of itself is an ongoing process. Along with that, I have become more aware of the mistakes I make that hurt our relationship.
I never mean to make mistakes, and I would never mean to intentionally damage our marriage, but we all are human and simple little things can really affect the relationship with have with our spouses.
Here are a few marriage mistakes that you could be making that probably are causing a negative effect in your relationship. Don’t feel bad and beat yourself up over them, as I said, no one is perfect.
6 Marrige mistakes that can hurt your marriage
- Lack of humility
- Always assuming
- Having a short fuse
- Stop nagging
- Let go of things
- Not being grateful
I have found it super helpful to become more aware of these things so I can more consciously make an effort to be better and continually strengthen my marriage.
1. Be humble
Now, let’s be real here. Who likes to admit they are wrong?
Don’t worry you’re not alone, I hate it too! I mean as women we are usually right BUT not all of the time.
Sometimes our egos can get the better of us, but I have learned in the time I have been married I need to be better at being humble.
Having humility is hard, but the outcome is well worth it. If we are arrogant, we are basically only caring about our own ego and not about the feelings of others. If you are wrong or did something that caused an upset between you and your husband, own it!
When we own our mistakes and faults, we are able to then resolve it in a way where humility is present. This will lead to a much better end result.
2. STOP assuming
This is probably my weakness. I always tend to find myself assuming without actually knowing the full story. Assuming never really ends too well.
When we are quick to jump to conclusions and assume, we result in always looking for the negative in things our spouse has done.
Assumptions basically throw all good communication skills straight out the window. If we can’t see the whole picture or know what happened we shouldn’t assume.
It is as simple as that. Instead of jumping to conclusions and assuming something happened a certain way or he did something wrong, stop and step back before blurting out unkind words or statements.
Communication is key to a successful marriage, and if we really try to exercise good communication skills, we should find ourselves no longer assuming the worst.
3. Get rid of that short fuse
We all have those days where we just have a short fuse, and that is ok, but lately, I have found myself with that short fuse all too often.
Life is crazy and I never can seem to find the slow lane. Juggling everyday tasks, along with toddlers and to-do lists it seems like our husbands seem to get the raw end of the stick.
When I am stressed, frustrated, or tired I often find myself being short with my husband, who usually hasn’t done anything wrong. When we are quick to anger, it usually sets that negative tone for the rest of the afternoon.
The way in which we respond can have a huge effect on those around us.
Using short, harsh tones will only create a negative atmosphere.
Try taking a deep breath before reacting or responding in times where you feel like you have a short fuse. Look at it from the perspective of the receiving end, (your husband).
4. Try to let up on the nagging
I used to be terrible at nagging and it would drive my husband absolute bonkers. I would find myself constantly nagging at him to do something, and when it wasn’t done, we would full circle back around to nagging again.
We would drive each other crazy and I swear the more I nagged the less he wanted to do whatever I needed.
Well, we have a better system now. Once again, we go back to communication, but I promise you good communication can be the answer to so many things.
Now we try to plan ahead so we know each other’s expectations.
Set realistic goals for the week and you can pinpoint what projects, chores or tasks need to be completed by and then there is no need to nag.
Giving friendly reminders is much better than constant nagging in the ear.
When you are both clear about what is expected you can then work together instead of against each other.
5. Just let it go
I tend to be like a dog with a bone sometimes and have a hard time letting things go, and this instance it is not a good attribute. The more I improve in this area the stronger our marriage becomes.
If your husband does something wrong or forgets an important item at the grocery store. Don’t hold it against him forever. Drop it, let it go and move on.
Holding grudges doesn’t only hurt your spouse but it also hurts you.
Whether it be big or small, try to let things go that don’t bring joy into your relationship. If there is something stopping you from growing closer together, evaluate and communicate with one another.
Remember marriage is a two-way thing, you both have to be routing for the same team.
6. Not showing enough gratitude
Husbands are amazing and I could not live a single day without mine in my life.
I know I could show him WAY more gratitude for all that he does. Expressing gratitude to our spouses really shows them that we care and are grateful for their hard work, love, and sacrifice.
We all need to feel like we are wanted and loved. Guys too!
Don’t inhibit your marriage by forgetting something so simple. Express your gratitude for your husband as often as you can.
We all make mistakes
Mistakes are just a part of life; we all make them. When we continually begin making the same mistakes then we start to see bigger effects.
These 6 mistakes I make are not something huge and crazy but over time they will begin to have a negative outcome on my marriage.
Thankfully, I can see the mistakes I make and strive every day to be better. When we recognize where we can become a little better, we will make the world a little better. In this case, the world is my husband.
Do you make any of these marriage mistakes? What do you do to help overcome them?
Do you make any of these marriage mistakes? What do you do to help overcome them?
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