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Marriage is an ongoing progression and takes constant commitment and care. We all have our ups and downs, our highs and lows… But how can we really continue to grow in love in a way that we never have before? Here is a little marriage challenge that can help grow your love for each other during this special season.
Thanksgiving is almost here and then it will be Christmas. Before we know it, December will be over and we will be flying into the new year overwhelmed, stressed, and tired.
Do you ever feel like this time of year can be magical but also complete chaos?
Sometimes the busyness of the holidays can put a strain on our relationships with those around us, particularly our spouses.
It is so easy to get caught up in the long list of things to do and the hustle and bustle of gatherings, holiday decorations, Christmas shopping, and everything else these winter months involve.
I absolutely LOVE Christmas and the special season that encompasses it, but it is SO easy to become so busy that we seem to lose the joy of it all.
Then we miss out on growing more in love with our spouses.
- Marriage is a two-way deal
- Nurture your love
- Be THANKFUL
- The thankful marriage challenge
- Day 1- Write him a note
- Day 2- Express your gratitude vocally
- Day 3- Pray and give thanks for him
- Day 4- Turn negative thoughts into positive ones
- Day 5- Know his love language and speak to him
- Day 6- Show gratitude by physical touch
- Day 7- Write a gratitude journal
- The takeaway
Marriage is a two-way deal
Well, I’m no expert but I do know that marriage is a two-way thing. If marriage becomes a one-man band, you are going to run into some problems.
Both you and your spouse need to be fully committed in every way and also develop communication skills that are clear and concise.
With these two aspects, you are well on your way to a strong, deep marriage.
Sounds easy, right? Well, unfortunately, anything that is worth having does take time and effort. That is just the way it is.
So even though commitment and communication seem pretty simple, it is going to take work.
Nurture your love
Obviously, you love your spouse, I know I do, but sometimes we become so complacent in our relationship that we begin to just slowly roll to a stop and inhibit continue growth in love.
Maybe it sounds silly but nurturing our love for our husbands is something we HAVE to do.
I’m not saying this is a one-way street, your husband needs to do the same for you too! But you are in charge of YOU so that is where you can begin.
Gratitude is a powerful thing. It is something that can completely transform a whole situation and mindset. Being truly thankful for things can really shift something negative into something positive.
I know that it is easier said than done, like anything right?!
A lot of the times in the moment it is hard to sometimes have a grateful heart but if we can strive to incorporate that into our marriage, you may be surprised at the outcome.
As you probably know, Thanksgiving is not a holiday that is celebrated in England, but now that America is my home, I get the privilege to celebrate this thankful time of year, and I quite like it.
Well, who doesn’t?!
Lots of yummy food, family and friends and also a chance to celebrate the great land of the free.
Aside from the turkey and stuffing, Thanksgiving is also a great time to be thankful. It seems cliché, but it is true.
By the time the middle of November rolls around, everyone on Facebook and Instagram are posting thankful thoughts and feelings in preparation for Thanksgiving.
We don’t have to just be thankful in November. We can be thankful all year long. But this holiday seems to provide a good excuse to practice more and be better.
At least for me, it does!
I am the type that likes to have an event or situation that inspires me to do better. Kind of like New Year’s Resolutions.
Once January hits everyone has a newfound desire to improve in one way or another.
Well, I would like to share a challenge with you that will fit in perfectly this Thanksgiving and Christmas season.
I hope it will strengthen your marriage and love between you and your spouse and make this time of year even more special.
The thankful marriage challenge
This challenge is simple and easy and the best part of it is the outcome is well worth it.
Let’s recap what it actually means to be thankful. It seems like a pretty straightforward thing but being thankful is expressing gratitude and relief.
I don’t know about you, but I have A LOT to be thankful for.
One of those things being my amazing husband. But how often do I show my gratitude to him?
Being grateful seems like such an easy thing but how often do we actually do it? I know for me personally; I could be a whole lot better!
There are 7 parts to this challenge. In reality, you can execute this challenge in any way you see fit.
But a good place to start is to take one challenge per day.
So, I guess you could say it is a 7-day challenge, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop implementing those things after a week has passed.
Hopefully, this will create some new good habits and a more grateful way of thinking that will enhance your marriage.
Day 1- Write him a note
I feel like nowadays we have so much technology in our lives that we forgot those old school ways of expressing ourselves.
Notes, cards, letters still hold so much value and can give a lot of meaning to someone.
Receiving a handwritten note can speak volumes and really show your spouse how much you care.
It is simple, easy and can almost be a little surprise for your spouse, something they wouldn’t expect.
You can place your note in different places.
Pick a place where he is obviously going to see it but be creative. Maybe in his car, or the bathroom mirror, or maybe on his favorite box of treats in the pantry.
Day 2- Express your gratitude vocally
Vocalizing your thoughts and feelings can help your husband feel like you appreciate them. It is so easy to lose the power of the word “thank you”.
Strive to be more sincere in your gratitude and make every time you say “thank you” count.
Think of different ways you are thankful for your husband and share those out loud with him.
When we hear that others are grateful for all we do it makes us feel better.
Sharing thoughts of gratitude with our spouses will make them feel wanted, needed and loved.
Day 3- Pray and give thanks for him
Prayer is a big part of my daily life. When I make the conscious effort to pray for my husband and his needs, I feel closer to God and closer to my spouse.
When we show our gratitude through prayer, we are able to receive help from God.
I also think vocalizing our thoughts through prayer allows us to realize how blessed we are to have our husbands to journey through life with us.
Day 4- Turn negative thoughts into positive ones
This one is HUGE! If I could master this challenge every single day it would be amazing.
I am probably the worst at this and maybe that is why I am sharing it because I need to become better at it.
Take a moment to think about your normal everyday life.
How often do you quickly jump to the negative, or chew your husband out for something, or dwell on what was or wasn’t done?
I know I do all of these things, constantly.
See I am WAY far from perfection. My poor husband puts up with me falling short all the time!
But the beauty of falling short is that it allows us to learn and grow and develop better qualities and attributes.
Instead of dwelling on the negative outcome of whatever the situation may be, look for the good and try to think of something to be grateful for.
And yes, this is WAY easier said than done, but if as women we can really master this concept it is going to add so much more light and happiness into our lives.
Sometimes I am so quick to become irritated and focus on the negative of what my husband did wrong or didn’t do.
If I would just change my perspective the outcome would be entirely different.
Try to view the situation from our spouse’s perspective and that might offer a change of heart.
Of course, we all mess up and make mistakes, but ultimately we aren’t setting out to make the other person mad.
Give your husband the benefit of the doubt and turn negative thoughts into positive ones.
Day 5- Know his love language and speak to him
If you don’t know much about love languages, I highly recommend this book that will help explain everything in depth. But in a nutshell, everyone has their own love language.
Different people feel the most love when it is presented in a certain way.
Maybe some like to be given gifts, while others like to hear words of affirmation and praise.
Maybe you treasure spending quality time with your spouse or being served is a way that gives the most meaning.
Whatever your love language it is important to learn your spouses. “Speaking” to your spouse in their love language can really make a huge transformation.
Check out “How to be a better wife” for a little more information on love languages.
Day 6- Show gratitude by physical touch
We can all remember those days of dating or being engaged and being madly in love, right?
With the slightest touch, you would have butterflies soaring through your tummy.
It seems as though as we get married and progress through that new and exciting journey, it can be easy for those high intense feelings of passion and love to die off a little.
Maybe it is when reality hits and you have bills to pay, or big decisions to make that sometimes out physical emotions become a little rusty.
It doesn’t need to be that way! You can still nurture your relationship no matter what stage you are in.
Making physical touch part of your everyday life with your spouse is crucial.
Physical touch can encompass a wide variety of things. Maybe it is a morning kiss, or holding hands, or cuddling by a movie.
Whatever it may be, try to make an effort to actually connect with your husband through touch.
Keep those sparks alive! You are never too old for butterflies.
Day 7- Write a gratitude journal
Now the week is almost over, on day 7 I want you to record your thoughts and feelings.
Whether you are a journal writer or not, writing down our feelings can be so powerful.
When we actually get out a pen and write something down on paper it actually helps solidify our feelings.
Share with yourself how the past week has gone. Write down the reasons you are grateful for your husband.
I hope as you take part in this challenge you will find yourself happier and deeper in love with your husband by the end and be able to better enjoy this special time of year.
Remember marriage isn’t easy, but it is not supposed to be.
The more we work at it, the stronger it will become. Even if the holidays bring stress, chaos, and busyness, develop a grateful heart and I can promise that your experience will be better.
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